Crappy Stories from our Fans

Dude, Where’s my Bike?

I moved to Boston from Mississippi in November. I brought with me my piece of pride road bike, which was complete with a very rare (1 of only 4) custom saddle. In April the temperatures broke and this little Southern gal got the nerve up to ride her bike into the city. It was great. I felt like a bad@ss – passing taxis, blowing through red lights (when no traffic was around) and making it to work in a mind-blowing 18 minutes (compared to almost an hour on the T).
Then one fated Monday morning I came into work a bit early. Bleary-eyed from a long day at work the day before, I left my standard U-lock at home and went with the single lock that I kept laced around the handlebars. It was the one and only time I didn’t double lock my bike. I thought it would be fine. Of course, it wasn’t. I wrapped up everything from a long day at work and changed into my tights, cleats and helmet to ride home. I walked outside to the bike rack where my bike was supposed to be locked and waiting for me to ride home. It was gone. I spent almost two hours at the police station waiting to fill out the report before walking home three and a half miles in the dark. I carried my helmet this time, my bike cleats were clickity-clacking the whole walk home, reminding me that sometimes life is just crap.

The Crappiest Gift

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The tale of a Life Is Crap fan and her friend the monkey head.

It has been a couple of years since I received the CRAPPIEST gift ever, but the memories just never go away. My mother spent $150 on my gift that year. Imagine my surprise when I opened the package to find an eerily life-like monkey head. Yes, a monkey head. The thing moves, makes noise and even shows its realistic teeth. I could think of a million other things I would rather have. It gets better – when I returned the head it cost $30 to repackage and $20 for shipping and handling. My two sisters think it’s hilarious to give me monkey items now as gifts. My mother just gets mad!