You though it would be fun to play sports? You must be full of crap. You don't remember that time when you were playing hockey and you broke the stick over the guy's head? I remember it and I also remember when you fell off a cliff trying to free-climb! There was that time you bailed when biking down a hill and when you couldn't even play basketball because you were to short! Face it, you are not athletic and your life is crap. You don't want to be playing sports anyway. People always say life is good when diving with dolphins or winning the tennis match with an ace or parachuting. Your life is crap though so you would end up double faulting, get attacked by sharks and land on powerlines with your parachute.
Leave the athletic crap to others and keep doing the things you are good at like eating eight slices of pizza and being able to walk and chew gum! Our funny sports sweatshirts are perfect for the non-athletic and very athletic alike! We want everyone to be able to share their disdain for sports crap with funny sweatshirts and crappy sports designs.